A Craigslist open letter to a mugger from his would-be victim.

[Lilburner]

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1053712277974125&id=100000060894573

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely

from my 2nd tour Combat Marine in Afghanistan. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother or Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.

Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb, after I broke the

windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.

I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper-fi,

Alex

[Nemo]

How accurate or credible that is, I cannot say much in favor of it.  But I can say its a great read.

Nemo

[florida44]

Oh now that just made my day and it is not even 6 AM! Maybe the week too. That is wonderful. With your permission I plan to forward this along. This guy is made of the stuff more Americans need to remember we should be. It is in our blood. Good stuff!

Thanks for sharing

[Farside]

Leave it to a jarhead to go out of his way to get pay back. He could have just shot him. That would have been easyer.

[Overwatch 36]

So the suspect with the knife commits armed robbery then the victim commits armed robbery with a gun,  criminal damage to property for the random vehicle he picked and terroristic threats for the phone calls.  NICE! What was wrong with just stopping the robbery and calling the police?  I'm calling BS on this one.  I find it hard to believe the knife guy didn't ask for the wallet only the jacket.  Then gun guy indicates his girlfriend is with him but then makes a comment that she glad he returned safely...makes it sound like she wasn't there at all. Then he indicates he had a nice long chat with the FBI that included a threat to POTUS.  BS on that for sure.  That phone would have been pinged the moment the call was placed.  Several minuets later the caller would have been staring at a gun barrel from local LEOs.  And by the way...if I'm close enough to rob you with a knife your shoulder holster rig wont do you any good.  All I have to do is pin your cross draw arm and slice/stab your throat. Any good "combat marine " knows that.  Calling BS....but good read for what it is.

[Lilburner]

Yeah I don't really see it being an accurate account of any event. Nice story, though.

[low_n_slow]

This one has been floating around the internet for a while.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

[Lilburner]

Good to know!